The Coil…

Slowly weaving, while my stomach’s heaving
as I realize, there’s no room to breathe.
And my head is reeling, at the thoughts I’m feeling
as I’m terrified, of the clouds I’m underneath.

Eyes are dried.
I drift away.
No echo, my screams will make…

Insulation, through my captor’s dealings
and I’m hypnotized, how long have I been here?
My gums are bleeding, turning more Anemic
as I hold the knife, I will disappear.

I’ve lived a lie.
I sink beneath.
The air escapes, light it turns to grey…

So deceiving, your intentions were pleasing
and I took your love, for what it appeared.
Disbelieving, all the scars I’m seeing
as I cut again, from the voices that I hear.

Slowly, I.
Start to, die.
And it’s oh-so clear.
There was no welcome sign here…

Eyes are dried.
Bloodshot and bleary.
There’s no more pain.
And the sky’s not dreary.

No more screaming.
And my heart’s not grieving.
As I cut away.
All the pieces of you.
Until no memory remains.
And I wish for this.
To be over it!
I can finally get some rest.
In my chest.
Is a fist-sized mess.
Of who I used to be…

Slowly, I.

Fade away…

The Done Over and Belaboured…

BACKSTORY: “Holochrist” was written by me in 2004. It was intended to have a slot on the Nimbus EP but unfortunately, we just didn’t have room for the track and it was taking far too long to mix it anyway. Now, 17 years later, while I’m still with that same band, I’m also doing a side project with our bassist that isn’t as industrial or progressive metal sounding and with lyrics slightly less profane and enraged. So, as it has come time to actually write new material, under a different mindset, a different light and a much different intention, my first thought drifted back to this piece. And these are the results…

Holochrist
“Turn the other cheek”, want me to believe.
Hard to do, I’d like to feel it coming. (After me!)

Stay sober!
Stay close to me!
Nailed me to your cross.
Kissed with bloody lip-gloss!

Stay coherent!
Want to drill.
Above the by and narrow.
Through the bone and walk on water!

There’s no moral!
Not a chance!
I like the sin too much to quit. (Must admit!)

Don’t like the method, stay away from me!
This is my ugliness, look away!
This is my testament, you I’ve sacrificed!
Tread water, like a hollow christ!

Don’t like yourself, why should I care?
Don’t like the torture, why did you come here?!
You want to suffer, but you wanna breathe!
Fucking Philistines, I swear! (After me!)

I’m no martyr.
I’m not a fool.
To be a savior!
You killed the last one.
With your stones and ridicule!

Don’t like the method, stay away from me!
This is my ugliness, look away!
This is my testament, you I’ve sacrificed!
Tread water, like a hollow christ!

All your idols now.
All digitized.
Ephemeral vessels.
Your Gods are dead now!

You thank what is wrong.
Admire the hate.
Mired by oppression.
Imbalanced chemicals.
Brainwashed by obsession.
Misfired by the sale.

And if given choice…

I would let you fail!

Maybe you like being deader than the rest…

(lex talionis)